Query: The act of Charity/Giving

Query: The Act of Charity/Giving.

The question- “are we being selfish when we do charity?” like many other such queries in life is of paradoxical nature, meaning- though seemingly well founded, it is conflicting with our preconceived notion of what is reasonable. To attempt answering would therefore require intense profundity which I admit I do not possess. Nevertheless I thought I should share some of my views however illogical, unsound, mundane and unsavoury it may sound.
In any act of charity two important elements are involved viz. the giver and the recipient (keeping outside the purview of our discussions the item/material doled out during the act). Mercifully, the querist has directed that our focus needs be only on one element namely the giver. He has set the parameters unambiguously clear. He does not require any thesis or dissertation on the recipient, his status, recipient’s worth to deserve, but seeks an answer to the ethics of the act itself albeit through the giver. He wants to know “Isn’t the giver deriving mileage out of giving and being selfish in becoming happy?” To build up the discussions let me overlook the querist’s minor indulgence of presuming that ‘all givers dole out to get happiness for themselves’ which is not the case. But about that later.
Who is this giver? Who is this recipient? Whose item is being dished out? Who are we? Is there a difference? I thought Yajur Veda said “Ishaa vaasyam idam sarvam yatkincha jagatyam jagat? –God resides in all these whatever exists in this world”. So who gives what to whom? Didn’t Krishna remind us- “Aham hi sarvayajnaanaam bhokthaa cha prabhuhu ava cha”-I am the recipient and the Lord of all sacrifices? (Gita 9.24). Next, what is happiness in any case? Who is happy? Is the recipient happy after receiving? Is the giver truly happy before/during/after the act of charity/ gifts? Who knows for sure? Who set the threshold for happiness? Is it permanent? Or is it dynamically shifting? Who has the answers? Are we doing justice in voicing opinions on matters so profound that we know nothing about?
Generous, selfless giving is among dharma's central fulfillments. “Yajna tapah karma na tyaajyam….paavanani maniishinaam..-Acts of sacrifice, gift and penance should not be relinquished…..They when performed purify the heart.” (Gita 18.5) Hospitality, charity and support of God's work on earth arises from the belief that the underlying purpose of life is spiritual, not material. That is why Kahlil Gibran said on ‘giving’- “You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give”. Now when some one does that kind of a giving can we cast aspersions on that giver and say he derives advantage? That he is being selfish? When you help someone, you are bound to feel pure, whole and purposeful. It will be a happier moment than you ever had in weeks before. But can this be taken to being selfish? Mind you there is a whole world of difference here. The giver may not have been motivated to give because of an ulterior motive to derive happiness. He gave and then he realized he was happy. Is that his fault that his giving unwittingly became the causative factor for his happiness?
Years of humble soldiering taught me that one of the qualities that separate us from many other creations on earth is compassion. It is what makes us stand up tall instead of crawling on all fours. And standing up tall is what frees our arms to reach out to a fellow being and say “Let me help you”. Granted that we are not ® not supposed to feel happy in return. In fact a person preparing to march towards spiritualism is expected to be not influenced by pairs of opposites- principle of Dwandvam. “Accept with equanimity both sorrow and happiness at all times”, our Gurus advise us. But till I reach that exalted status my philosophy in essence is the concept of man as a heroic being with his own happiness as the moral purpose of my life, with productive achievement as my noblest activity and reason as my only absolute. Even with the danger of being dubbed as a person of hypocritical humility or selfishness (if you like) I shall continue to go out of my way to help others. Or else why would any one say “Do unto others, as you would have them unto you?” Other wise why would any one say,
Paropakaaraaya phalanthi vrukshaah
Paropakaaraaya vahanthi nadhyaah
Paropakaaraaya dhuhanthi gaavaah
Paropakaaraaya sathaam hi jeevanam
Like many millions I too must have a second job- offering to suffering humanity. As a byproduct, if I get happiness so be it. Of course some people pay a compliment or give charity as if they expect a receipt. That is downright bad. “Asradhayaa hutam dattam…….asad iti uchyate...”(Gita 17.28). I shall be careful not to step into that pothole. On the other hand I shall keep reminding myself “Na eava kinchit aham karomi iti-I do nothing at all”. “Sarvaarambha parityaagi- renouncing the feeling of doer ship in all undertakings”. I have had no occasion to change this attitude as yet. I may be wrong. But I shall correct myself as I trudge along. Like in Mahabharatha, it is stated “I know the right but I do not wish to engage in it. I know the wrong but I do not wish to refrain from it—Jaanaami dharmam na cha me pravruthihi. Jaanaami adharmam na cha me nivruthihi”. Who is nishkalangam in any case? “There is a crack in everything, my son. But that’s how the light gets in as well”, my dad used to say.
Compassion does not mean to be solicitous to someone who appears to be stray, imperfect or needy. It means to look at that individual as we see ourselves; as unique human beings with wants hopes needs dreams and desires. Look at it this way- We have been given this privilege to have some space on this earth. So like Jerold Pamas said “Philanthropy and service is the rent you pay for this very privilege; for the room in the planet.” Stretch the argument further- As a society we have come to a point where people too often treat one another as objects and opportunities, rather than as fellow human beings. Respecting each other as individuals or not doing so seriously impacts the future for all of us. For fear of getting labeled as selfish, are we to lead a life whose theme is simply, “each one for himself?” Isn’t that really selfishness? Is it alright to be immersed only in “my life my achievement, my happiness, my person no matter what the circumstances I might encounter, I care two hoots for others even when they are less fortunate?” Isn’t there an attitudinal deficiency here?
Nowhere is giving better unfolded than in the ancient Tirukural, which
says, "Of all duties, benevolence is unequaled in this world, and even in celestial realms. It is to meet the needs of the deserving that the worthy labour arduously to acquire wealth." Even the poorest Hindu practises charity according to his means. In this unselfish tradition, guests are treated as God (Athithi devo bhava). Friends, acquaintances, even strangers, are humbled by the overwhelming hospitality received. In Assam (during my tenure in Tezpur), the most hospitable Bodos (when being sidelined) used to say “Sir, You can kill a person with hospitality!”
We share with the less fortunate. We care for the aged. We honour Gurus with gifts of food, money and clothes. We encourage the spirit of helping and giving, called daana, within the family, between families and our priestly communities. Many devout Hindus, I am told take the dashama bhaaga vrata, a vow to pay ten percent of their income each month to an institution of their choice to perpetuate Sanaatana Dharma. This centuries-old practice is called dashamamsha. The Vedas wisely warn, "The powerful man should give to one in straits; let him consider the road that lies
ahead! Riches revolve just like a chariot's wheels, coming to one man now, then to another." (My wife wonders when our turn will come to be rich??). “Mera number kab aayega?” she bemoans.
The giving which is made to one who does nothing in return with the idea that it is ones duty to give and with due regard to the place time and recipient of the gift is said to be Satvtic-Daatavyam ithi yad daanam deeyathe anupakaarine, dese kale cha paatre cha thad daanam saatvikam smrutham. (Gita 17.20.)
So be a Master Of Giving.

“Naraseva is Narayanaseva”

For spiritually unfolding ourselves let us learn to give and give and give and give until it hurts. Because that hurt is our block. Many people give and they give generously, up to the point where they feel, "I have given a lot," or "I have given too much," or "I gave as much as I can give," or "I will give more when I can," or "I enjoy giving and I used to give a lot, but I can't give so much right now." These are the little blocks that come up within us, undermine and bind us down to the depths of the negative areas of our subconscious mind. And then we stop progressing.
But when a man has unfolded to the power of giving, he doesn't think about himself so much, because he is spontaneous. He is always looking for an opportunity to do something good for someone else. On the other hand when someone has not unfolded into giving, he thinks about himself a great deal, and he calculates his giving and creates his future limitation.
I have seen this working in reverse gear too. A spiritual person even if he doesn't have material possessions to speak of, always finds something to give; he gives what he has. He knows that he is not the gift, that he is not the giver at all, and when something comes his way, he gives of it freely. He is a vehicle for giving, and finally he is so full of abundance in consciousness that he fulfills his mission in life. If you give and give freely and spontaneously, you feel good about it, and if you do it again, you feel even better about it. But if you give and give selfishly, you feel bad about it, and if you continue to do so, you'll feel worse. “If you give and give spontaneously, you will awaken your inner nature, and spiritual power will flow through you, and you will merge with God within you..But if you give, and give selfishly, by hanging onto your gift after you have given it, you close the door to spirituality”, so says a popular Guru. He continues, “Giving is in many, many forms. The best way is to rely on your intuition. Give freely, and your gift will come back to you often doubled soon after the gift is given. Then this opens the door for another gift to be given out and soon you will find yourself giving every minute of every day in the most spontaneous ways.”
I wonder if Daanaveera Karna was selfish in giving or selfless. But that will be another debate altogether. “Enough of your pazhayasaadam write up taking up much of our computer time “ as some of you complained. So let me stop here.

What we are is God’s gift to us
What we become is our gift to God!
--Found in the net. Author unknown.

Rgds
V V R