Guru & Goal Setting

Guru & Goal Setting

Sree S..........ji! The day is not far before we get a knock on our knuckles for wasting the valuable time of our fellow members with our Sadhu, morals and Stories and (miss)using (the pun intended to mean ‘avoid’ using) the platform so generously provided by the moderator of the group. So here is my understandably last response titled ‘Setting realistic goals’ albeit through involvement of a Guru (read Sadhu if you like) despite fear of a yellow card being pulled out on us. Any way two is company. Be my guest.

There’s a legend about a group of people who sought the world over for the Guru who would tell them the secret to life. Finally, they discovered he inhabited one of the highest mountain peaks in Tibet. (Alright when it was still independent-ok?). After an arduous climb, they reached the top and found him sitting in his cave.
“What is the secret to life?” they asked. The mystical reply came back, “TANSTAFL”
“And what does TANSTAFL mean, oh holy one?” asked the bewildered group.
The wise old guru was silent for several minutes before he finally answered, “It stands for………….
I get a grown whenever I tell this story, but there is a truth in it that’s a little more subtle than appears at first. Umm….. Have I built up enough tension? Wait a while longer and hear this to know TANSTAFL.
Cut to 1958.
Prof. Chatterjee our humanities lecturer walked into our syndicate A class of 20 (IIT KGP-1958). He asked us to give him a helping hand to push the chairs and tables aside so that we could get some free space in the room. He then placed a hat in the centre of the room. He drew a figure of a small square (1 foot side) with his chalk at a distance of say 4 feet away from the hat. He had a few coins. He called at random each one of us in turn by name; gave us the coins and explained that the idea was to toss as many coins as possible into the hat. He went and sat in a corner taking notes silently. There was chaos, confusion, shouting, consultations and queries seeking all sorts of clarifications. Bur for Chatterjee ‘mum was the word.’ He wouldn’t speak a word and said he, “I have said it all. And that’s it. Period” At the end of the experiment he told us what each one of us was!
We all behaved no different from any of the present day students; but each one carried a uniquely different meaning to Prof. Chatterjee by the way we performed? How? Lemme get serious now.
In an interesting research experiment, children were given plastic rings to toss over a stake in the ground, with no rules on how close to stand. (Note this)
I Some of the children stood way back from the stake and let fly with the rings with little chance of scoring. (like some of us stood as far away as even 6 feet from the hat trying to toss the coins in).
I I Other children went right up to where they were standing over the stake and then dropped the rings over it so that they couldn’t miss at all. (like some of us went close to the hat and dropped all coins with much glee)
I I I Some children went to a reasonably medium distance from the stake and tried from there.(like some of us who went near the marked square and tried from that distance of say 4 feet from the hat to toss the coins) These children (who had been found in an earlier test to possess a high need for achievement) chose to make it an interesting challenge, (as you would have already noted) rather than a wild gamble as the I st group had or a lead pipe cinch as the I I nd group had done.
IV Then there was this group of children who stood at some reasonable distance and tossed the rings. If successful they increased the distance and tried again giving them some more challenge. If unsuccessful they inched a few feet closer and tried until they found an optimum distance for them. (Some of us tried this method too)

So what’s new?

There are no right or wrong methods in this experiment. Consequently there are no right or wrong groups either. And hence it follows there are no right or wrong people too. But each one of us heart of heart knows which group we belong to. It depends on the way we have been brought up; our Vaasanaas. Some of us may be the care free, risk taking fellows, some very conservative cautious types, some may like to challenge their own capacities and some may try to optimize. But the world needs all types. In fact, you can try this out at home on your kids and wives/husbands/relatives/friends. Soon you would know which category each one belongs to. Bye.
Oh! Not so fast you mean. Alright what did the Guru say?
“It stands for ‘There Ain’t No Such Thing As Free Lunch”
Sure, there ain’t no such thing as easy achievement either. If you have a need for a feeling of achievement, you can’t satisfy it by setting a goal so easy you couldn’t have missed. And you can’t take any personal satisfaction in winning by chance either; Lady Luck gets the credit for that not you.
The child ego state in us may choose a goal that’s a cinch. Or we select one that’s such a gamble that fate determines the outcome so that our egos won’t be bruised. The wise who wants to experience the feeling of real achievement will set moderate goals. This way he/she will experience some successes and not frustrate himself/herself unnecessarily. A corollary to the proposition of moderate goal setting is tolerance for temporary failure. We must learn to tolerate mistakes and suffer defeat without losing purpose and motivation. We will have some defeats and some victories. Some time we move ahead, or stand still or even fall back. Life is a series of mistakes and set backs intermingled with victories and successes.
And the last word as usual from my wife, “Why all these lengthy write up? Just say Ellu muriye pani cheithaal, pallu muriye thinnaam.” That is TANSTAFL for her.
I know you sure want to know which category I belong? Uuummm…. “Ask no questions you will be told no lies”

Rgds
V V R
21st Jun 06